My more or less maybe anticipated return (!!)

Hello! It’s been a hot minute since I blogged, but I’ve just made my bed, hoovered my carpet and sat at my desk for the first time in over a year so I’m feeling very productive.

I think I fell out of love with blogging a little bit because I didn’t know what to write about. I feel like I’ve constantly dabbled in different things, treading water slightly to try and discover what it is I’m passionate about. I’m yet to figure it out, and I’m sure many other people feel the same. That’s okay. I’ve decided.

I know I like writing. I know I like poetry. I know I like being a plus size person with growing confidence and I like not giving a shit. I also like giving a shit. I know a lot about what I like, but that doesn’t mean I’m good at it all. I’d love to be one of these bloggers that had their life together, with month long plans of what they’re going to write about, being paid per post and getting to do the things they love with no guilt. That isn’t the case. Right now, I’m sitting at this old stained ikea desk that is also a makeshift dressing table, listening to around the world by Ronnie Hilton on my second-hand record player and attempting to process some of my thoughts through this post. Whilst also procrastinating doing my reading week work for uni. It’s Thursday. I’m running out of days.

I know that my writing is very jumbled. I’ve never been great at writing a structured piece of prose and having it make sense. I jump from thought to thought frivolously and maybe that’s why I’ve never had any great success. Perhaps I need to revise more, edit my work afterwards. Perhaps I need to actually plan out what it is I’m going to write about instead of sitting down at my laptop and writing the first words that come to my head. But I’ve never been very good at that. I don’t like planning or trying to make sense of things. It always tends to make my head hurt.

However, all this isn’t an apology or explanation for my shit writing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to try and get better. After all, I am in my final year of a creative writing degree. I figure, I should have some sense of what I’m doing. I suppose this very out of the blue post, is just a sort of hello. My return to an attempt at blogging. I think this time round, I’m going to use this blog as a platform not just to write about what’s on my mind, but to post my work too- post recipes I’ve made up, post poems I’ve made and dabbled about in, post funny things that happened to me, and most of all just put my mind on a piece of paper to make sense of it. I want this blog to be something to help me, my mental health, and my confidence. I also want others to enjoy it. Maybe I’m asking too much. But we’ll see.

See you soon!

#positivity #writing